The lagoons view

We weren’t fighting this time. it didn’t seem like it. I preferred the term quiet. We were bothe quiet. He seemed very cold and I, indifferent. Twenty years had flown like magic and the love we had at nineteen seemed like a rapidly burning candle. My toast to him that lovely day was our love would be like a candle that never burnt. Oh, how I was wrong. We spent so much time apart, we didn’t know how to address each other anymore. Bolade wont have taken it if we got a divorce. No one would and I wasn’t particularly interested in any messy situation.

I tied my gele and stared at the mirror. Maybe it was because I was old. How I hated that word. I didn’t look that bad. I was thirty nine and still I looked like I was a single lady. But still age couldn’t be hidden. I wasn’t that kinky little girl in shorts, afro, lip gloss-most importantly vulnerable. My parents had just died when I met him. He was the only one there for me. He took me in-maybe that was why it was so easy to fall in love with him. I tried to smile. The thoughts were just too heartbreaking.

I applied my lipstick and dabbed some brown powder on my face. My phone was ringing but I didn’t have time to pick it up. I walked into the master bedrrooom where we both slept. Oddly it seemed like no one ever slept in it. maybe its because we only retreated there after several hours spent separately even at night. I sighed.

‘musa,’ I said causally. I don’t remember the last time I called him his name ‘are you ready to go’

‘nah, I’m a bit too tired. I’ll skip. I’ll call to apologise and I was thinking maybe we could have dinner when you get back’ I saw the hesistation in his voice and his face. He was truly tired. He worked very  hard. But then, this party wasn’t the ordinary, she’d worked so hard to make it happen.

‘but musa, everyone’s going to expect me to walk in there with you?”

‘damn it’ he yelled’ I said I am freaking tired’

I nodded and rubbed his knee and moved out. That didn’t add a plus or minus to my day. Big deal, he was fightin with himself, I was going to have a good time at his parents fifty-year anniversary. Being the event planner, I had to ensure that all went well. I entered my car and drove out the gate steadily then it hit me that I’d left my phone on the dresser. I couldn’t go back I was already late and that wasn’t in my nature. I strolled out of the car at past twelve. Everyone looked glorious. I greeted the family and oh my, as I was about to apologise for my husbands absence, he strolled in indifferently.

I was quickly drawn away by aduke who was working the party alongside me. I couldn’t think straight. The party was the last thing on my mind. It was why my husband had come to the party on his own. We could come together I thought but he said he wasn’t coming. I started giving orders and everything on my mind, slowly blurred away. It was until shade walked to my side and nnudged me to look in the way of my husband.

‘whats he doing there?’ she asked, her hands akimbo.

‘enjoying himself ofcourse’ I said with a smile

‘oh bimbo, don’t give me that!’ she said ‘you’re my best friend, I definitely know when you two are having pproblems’

‘I wont call it problems-Its silence-’

‘you kinow what comes after silence-more silence then cheating then finally he’ll bring roses home and when he tells you they are not for you? He’ll tell you he wants a divorce-’

‘shade’ I said slapping my hands together ‘you’re too much of storyteller. Did I forget to tell you you look good? Absolutely, ravishing’

‘aw, look at this one, trying to change topic.’ She hissed ‘and yes you already told me I look ravishing’

‘Its been long I saw him laugh like that’ I said turning my attention to him.’his eyes have never glowed like that’

‘and now, it is glowing because he’s talking to that twenty-two year old chicken leg?’

‘marissa is practically family’

‘if you say so, but bimbo, you have to do something and solve this problem’

I nodded and stared at my inlaws. Mama and papa B as they were popularly called. Their love was still glowing and as vibrant. I stared at everything, the whole essence of the place was love. I stared back at my husband. He was staring at me and when our eyes locked, I quickly took mine away. I still loved him. Mama B walked towards me with a smile ‘thanks for a wonderful party. May your love also continue as ours-’

‘mama B, do you have a minute?’

‘yes, whats wrong dear?’

‘at some point in your marriage did you ever think it  wasn’t working?’

‘never? Never. You know why? I programed my self to think anytime we had a fight what life would be wqithout him and the answer was hell. At some time I spat I hate you to him but I didn’t-‘ she smiled  ‘sorry I hope I answered your question’

I tried to smile ‘yes’

‘ofcourse ma.’ Shade said eyeing me.

Shade stared at me as mama B walked away ‘you better work things out.’ She held my palm firmly ‘he’s still staring at you. I read love in his eyes’ she paused and stared at her purse-who is this person that keeps calling me?’

‘why don’t you just pick up the phone and find out!’

‘No, I’m talking to  you, that’s rude’

‘but I cant stand that annoying nokia tune’ I said and dragged the phone from her. ‘I’ve known you since I put my finger in your eye when we were five. I’m still rude you know’

I picked the phone ‘hello-ok’ I handed her the phone its your son

‘bayowa can never let me rest. Hello? Bayo? What happened?-ehn? Bolade ke? What are you—now, I’ll let her know.’

‘what happened? Whats wrong with bola’ I asked agitated my daughter had been mentioned I was afraid

‘she’s been hospitalized,’ shade said fidgeting

‘what happened?’

‘she was in an accident. We’ve got to get there. It’s the campus hospital.’

I informed musa and we rushed out in a hurry. The drive seemed to take forever maybe because I and musa did not know what to say to each to her.

When we finally got there the doctor told us that she was stabble. ‘its minor’ he said.

We were allowed to go in and see her. There was a bandage on her hand. I didn’t want to know the details, I just wanted to hug my baby

‘you cant touch her’ musa said angrily ‘the doctor said not to’

At this point, I wanted to break down and start crying and I allowed myself to. ‘I just want to hold her’

‘but you cant’ he said indifferently

‘musa, lets not let our fight get in the midst of this-’

‘midst of what? She’s the product of this union and you neglected her. Now you just think-‘

‘musa you’re shouting’ I said crying much more.

‘oh, you want me to shut up?

A nurse walked in and looked at both of us ‘you two are going to have to leave’

‘she’s our daughter’ I said trying to placate her

‘which doesn’t give you any reason to disturb her’

‘she said we should leave ok?’ he said and walked out.

I followed him. We met bayowa outside the ward. I warmly greeted him and moved past him. There was too much on my mind. Musa walked into the car and sat on the driver seat. I quickly opened the door. I wondered where he wanted to go.

‘we cant just leave her there’ I said

‘who said I was leaving’

I looked at him. He was drumming his fingers on the starring.

Then, abruptly, he started the car and drove off. It was a two minutes drive to the lagoon. He came out and sat on the sand. I went with him. I wasn’t going to allow myself go through this alone. Someone had to go through ir with  me. Better the culprit than anyother person.

‘are you going to divorce me’ I said even though he wasn’t looking at me. Stunned at the question he stared at me.

‘what no?’ he was looking deeply into my eyes ‘I love you?’

I nodded

‘what you don’t love me?’

‘no, you don’t sound convincing-’

‘what? That’s because I thought you were cheating. I’ve thought so for like two years maybe three’

‘the reasons for the fights’ I said thoughtfully. Then it all came back to me. The first fight had landed me sick after which I got accustomed to it. the fight had been about nothing in particular- I think I had served too much fried rice and he’d been just too mad abuot it. ‘Is that why you screamed-‘

He nodded ‘I didn’t know what to do or who to talk to’ he said calmly

‘you could have asked’

He nodded.

We were both silent a while ‘but are you?’

‘no-no, I love you I would never. I can never imagine life without you’ I said remembering his mothers words. ‘why did you ever think that, don’t you trust me?’

‘the guys, they put words into my head. You know, you were working so hard and everything and they be like no woman can work that hard but oprah except they cheating’

I slowly put my head on his chest.

‘you know, I had a dinner planned-lights and candles-in case nepa disappoints- casserole’

‘I just want to enjoy the view of the water.’

‘bimbo’ he said slowly

‘I’m sorry for evetything’

‘me too.’

His cellphone rang

‘-ok, we’ll be right there.’

We hurried into his car back to the hospital. Our daughter was fine and our family-his family was there with us.

A week later, we renewed our vows in front of the lagoon. This time I said ‘our love would be like this lagoon. Its flow is endless’